


Be brave. Don't leave.

by BadBatch (Forever_Cynical)



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Baby, F/F, Married Couple, hints of suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23882713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_Cynical/pseuds/BadBatch
Summary: Another fight. More angry words thrown at each other, a glass broken in the sink. Yennefer crying in the bedroom. Marriage was hard. Tissaia needed to be brave and Yennefer just needs to stay.
Relationships: Sabrina Glevissig/Triss Merigold, Tissaia de Vries/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 7
Kudos: 92





	1. Chapter 1

She isn’t sure how this happened. How they got here. How one quiet night in had turned into shouts of anger, one broken wine glass and Yennefer’s tear stained face. She sits on the sofa. The only light coming from a small candle that had Yennefer had made her for her birthday. She remembered the woman’s excited smile as she opened up the neatly wrapped present. She can’t remember the last time Yennefer had looked at her like that. The last time she had seen that beautiful beaming smile on her face. She blamed herself. She had no one else to blame really. She could hear Yennefer’s soft cries from their bedroom.

She wondered how long she would have left before Yennefer moved out to the guest room.

Maybe she’d move out to Triss’s and Sabrina’s instead.

She wondered how long she has to call Yennefer hers.

Tissaia sighs. She rubs her tired eyes with clenched fists and brings herself to standing. She looks around her living room. The entire room is full of pictures of them. Pictures of them with their friends. Photos of a younger Tissaia with friends at college, photos of a younger Yennefer. She feels emotion well up inside of her. She doesn’t know how to fix this. She isn’t good at this. At emotion. At admitting she was wrong.

She was terrified.

Terrified of change. Terrified of losing Yennefer. She walked out of the living room and to her wife. She opened the door and found Yennefer on the bed. She was curled into a ball in the middle of it. She had gotten changed out of the red dress she had chosen to wear at their dinner and was in comfortable looking grey sweat pants and a long white shirt. Tissaia watched her body shake with sobs. Taking off her blazer she threw it on the chair by their joint dressing table and walked over to the bed. Climbing on it she no longer worries about her Tom Ford tailored trousers nor the silk white shirt that hung around her shoulders loosely.

She watched as Yennefer tried to move away from her and her heart broke even further. How could she have done this to the woman she adored. How could she have said those venomous things. How could she have marred her heart like this? She moved her hand to Yennefer’s shoulder before snuggling behind her. She wrapped her arms around the woman. She tried to tell herself to be brave but she had always felt terrified when she was with Yennefer. Always scared of losing the girl. Always scared that Yennefer would get bored of her. Move back onto a younger model. She was twice Yennefer’s age. Though this had never bothered her before. She could feel the ache of the age difference now.

She could give the woman a thousand excuses. Give her a thousand reasons why she was being so cold and callous towards her. She could turn round and accuse Yennefer of being childish for smashing the wine glass in the sink. She could throw Yennefer’s words back at her. She could make this fight their last and have Yennefer out by tomorrow morning and continue her life like this.

But what a lonely life that would be?

A life without Yennefer didn’t bare thinking about.

She felt the woman relax slightly as she lay with her. Her breathing even out and Tissaia could tell that she had stopped crying. Lilac and Gooseberries filled her nostrils and she let out a breath she didn’t even realise that she was holding. “Yennefer..” She began, she felt the air around them change. It became tense and she felt Yennefer shift in her arms.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Yennefer’s words cut deep into Tissaia’s heart, she felt it stopped beating momentarily in her chest. “I love you Tissaia but I’m struggling to like you when you’re like this.” Tissaia found herself once more unsure what to do. She hadn’t felt this out of control..well since.. Her wrists ached where the blades had once cut into soft flesh.

_That was a long time ago_

“Please Yennefer, please don’t do this.” Tissaia wanted to hold her tighter. Wanting to pull her in closer than possible and beg her to never leave her. She felt the panic rise and her chest began to rise and fall at speed. She tried to anchor herself. Tried to think of a good memory to keep her. Her wrists were itching. Like they were fresh. Like they were years ago.

“Tell me why.” Yennefer demanded, still facing away from her. “Tell me why I shouldn’t leave, this is where you’re pushing me, it feels like the only place I have left to go from here.” Yennefer’s entire body was tense and firm. She usually would have leant into her wife, usually would have turned round by now and thrown her arms around her. She would have buried her face in Tissaia’s neck.

“I love you..” Tissaia tried again to speak to her, to beg her to stay, to apologise, to say anything Yennefer needed her to say in desperation. She heard the woman scoff and move off the bed and she watched as her wife began to angrily pack a suitcase, throwing in her clothes. Tissaia swallowed. Wanting to reach up and snatch the suitcase away and throw the clothes back where they belong.

“I have tried to so hard, I haven’t argued, I have understood, all those late nights, all those last-minute meetings that were clearly bullshit by the way but I forgave and forgave because I’m foolish, because I thought you would one day come to your senses and realise that what we have here, was worth more than any posh car and small recognition you get from your arsehole boss.” Yennefer ranted throwing a bunch of dresses in angrily as she looked up at her wife on the bed. “I thought you’d realise that he would never appreciate you like I would, Stegobor would never see you like I do, you could have started your own firm by now but instead you like to be his little lawyer lacky, well fuck you Tissaia, fuck you.”

“Yennefer!” Tissaia raised her voice, trying greatly to get her attention and stopping her from packing her bag. “I quit, I quit today and I spent afternoon panicking on how to tell you and then we began to argue and I got.. I got afraid, I didn’t want you to go, I didn’t want you to leave me because if this works out there will be no more trips to Paris or Germany or Belgium when we’re bored and have a weekend off together, no more expensive restaurants..”

Yennefer cut her off by surging forward and pressing their lips together in a passionate kiss. Tissaia found herself on her back, Yennefer on top of her. She could feel the younger woman’s tears falling onto her face as they kissed. They soon broke apart and she watched in wonder as Yennefer laid down next to her.

“You’re a fucking idiot Tissaia De Vries.” Yennefer shook her head and wiped at he eyes before turning and wiping Tissaia’s clean. “Next time, you need to talk to me, don’t just come in and start being cold and mocking me, we won’t get much further if you keep doing this.” Yennefer kept one of her hands on Tissaia’s cheek, stroking it softly as the older woman looked at her.

“I’m trying Yennefer, I want to be better, I want to be able to talk but I find myself sometimes so utterly terrified at the thought of losing you, of losing this, I’d give it all up, the house, the money the cars, everything just to have you at my side forever, I’d even settle for just one more day.” The older woman brought her hand up to hold Yennefer’s against her cheek. “You are by far the best chance I have ever taken, I never knew if you would stay, I was always worried you would find better, I have had no doubt in my mind that you are my greatest love but a voice in the back of my mind always told me that you could do far better than me.”

“Tissaia we have been married for five years and together for seven, and you have spent every day feeling like this?” Yennefer shook her head as her eyes filled with sadness. “I have loved you from the first moment I saw you, when you stepped into the coffee shop at closing and asked for a five shot latte, you have always been more than enough for me, I don’t care about all these fancy things, I always thought you enjoyed them, I have always been content in these ratty old sweatpants as long as I was holding you and watching you guess the killer on Criminal Minds Wednesdays.” Yennefer smiled as Tissaia laughed.

“I just couldn’t imagine what an amazingly beautiful woman could see in me, I spent my life in suits, trying to gain acknowledgment from men who don’t seem to notice I exist, I always assumed you would find someone who wasn’t me, someone who wasn’t boring.” Tissaia wrinkled her nose as she thought about herself. She was never her own biggest fan but tonight she found herself unable to think of herself in any kind light.

“You’re a fool, I adore you.” Yennefer pressed a soft kiss to Tissaia’s forehead before continuing. “I have never loved anyone or anything as much as I love you, you are the stars in the night sky Tissaia, you are everything to me and you are my home, I will never leave and I will never love anymore than I love you.”

“Not anyone?” Tissaia arched her eyebrow smiling lovingly as Yennefer grabbed her hand and moved it to her stomach. Tissaia kept her hand there as Yennefer stared at her, trying to convey all the love she felt for the woman in her eyes. “I’m so sorry, I’ve caused you such stress, I should have known better, especially now.”

“This child, our child, will grow up in a loving home with parents who love ach other, who talk honestly and openly to each other, we will not repeat the mistakes of our parents, I won’t let us.” Yennefer said firmly. The atmosphere around them had changed again. Yennefer had finally relaxed and they lay together now, healing together, trying to fix what Tissaia had almost broken and what Yennefer had almost let her break.

“I love you so much Yennefer Vengerberg- De Vries.” Tissaia whispered lovingly. “And I will love our child and even when I’m afraid, I’ll tell you, I’ll try to be brave.” Yennefer moved forward and enveloped Tissaia into another hug. “Oh Tissaia, I can be brave enough for the both of us at times, I will never let you fall, I will always be here to catch you.”

They lay in silence in each other’s arms. Tear stained faces and apologises falling from their mouths. Nothing about love Is easy. Tissaia knew this. She knew this when she fell in love with Yennefer in a small coffee shop in down town London. She knew this when her ex had turned up at Yennefer’s work place and almost gotten her fired. Their love hadn’t been easy but right now, with Yennefer holding her in her arms, their child growing every day. She would work on her own firm but for now, she would be here for her wife. She would try to be brave.

For without Yennefer, without this life, it wasn’t a life worth living.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For my mysterious anon, the meeting of the baby.

Her hands are sweaty. She wipes them on her trousers and tries not to have a panic attack. Though she supposes she is in the right place should she have one. She can hear Sabrina sighing as she types away on her phone. She supposes the life of journalist never stops. She turns to Sabrina who looks up from her phone and offers her a kind a smile. Sabrina puts her phone away and grabs one of Tissaia’s hands. She tries to protest but Sabrina just shakes her head to stop her.

She thought she’d be mad when Yennefer told her she wanted Triss in with her. Sat outside now in the waiting room, she understands why. She’s a mess. She’s covered in sweat, one second away from a panic attack and she can’t stop shaking her leg. She’s terrified but elated. She knows that Triss will be the calming presence that Yennefer needs right now. She was grateful that Sabrina was with her.

“She will be fine, they will both be fine.” Sabrina says softly, Tissaia turns to face her. Tissaia smiles and looks into the kind eyes of her blonde friend that sits beside her. “I know, I know, but I just can’t seem to switch my mind off.” Tissaia admits as Sabrina squeezes her hand.

“Well, lets think of something to distract that big mind of yours.” Sabrina thinks for a moment. “You know, I was thinking of asking Triss if she was ready to expand our family.” Tissaia can tell that Sabrina is nervous about admitting this. That she almost expects Tissaia to laugh in her face and tell her how ridiculous that is. “Really?” Tissaia smiles widely at her.

“What’s that look for?” Sabrina narrows her eyes. Tissaia notices that Sabrina’s leg is now rapidly moving up and down, very much like her own. She wonders if they share more than one nervous habit. “Sabrina the ice Queen and Triss the puppy dog, having children together?” Tissaia laughs as Sabrina squeezes Tissaia’s hand painfully. “Its rather sweet to think of, I have to admit.”

“I worry though, I worry that I won’t be a good mother.” Sabrina lets out a shaky breath. “I’ve never told Triss that, never admitted to her that, that’s my fear.” Tissaia stops for a moment and remembers that night, all those months ago where she almost lost Yennefer to hiding away her own fears and let’s go of Sabrina’s hand to throw her arms around.

She holds her awkwardly until Sabrina moves her arms to hug her back. She feels Sabrina bury her face in her neck and smiles. It had been a long time since they had spent time together as just them. She makes a mental note to make sure that she schedules some time in for Sabrina after this. They’d both gotten busy with work, both spent most of their spare time with the women they called home. “Listen to me, I once almost lost Yennefer as I was too scared to admit how I was feeling, do not let this eat you up inside. You will be a fantastic, fantastic mother to your child. You are smart, funny, witty and even though you hide it, you have a huge heart that is capable of love.”

“Tissaia.” She hears Sabrina’s voice break. “I don’t want to mess it up, I don’t want to turn round in twenty years and realise my child hates me and I don’t want to disappoint Triss.” Tissaia holds her tighter and rubs her back lightly, as she feels warm tears fall into her neck. She wonders how long this has been eating at Sabrina. “That will never happen, we will be better than those who have raised us, we know to be better, you could never disappoint Triss, she loves you so dearly, we all do, have faith in yourself and when you can’t have faith in yourself, let us have faith in you.”

They sit in silence for a while just holding each other, before she realises that Sabrina is laughing. She moves back and watches Sabrina wipe the tears from her eyes and shake her head. She arches an eyebrow as the blonde grins at her. “I’m supposed to be here supporting you, instead I have a bloody break down.”

“That doesn’t matter, it distracted me didn’t it?” Tissaia smirks and Sabrina leans into her placing her head on the woman’s shoulder. “Besides, I hope you know that I am always here for you, we’ve both been useless at meeting up with each other later, that changes from now on and when we must cancel, we schedule a phone call instead.”

“Agreed.” Sabrina nods. They sit in silence once more before a nurse comes into the room and smiles at the both of them. She tells Tissaia the words that she has been dying to hear. The baby and Yennefer are okay and they are waiting for them. She asks if Sabrina can come in and the nurse smiles softly and nods. They follow the woman in her scrubs to the room she had left Yennefer in earlier.

When she walks in, her breath is stolen away by the sight before her. Yennefer’s hair is a mess where she has obviously been moving around on the bed. The scrubs are wrinkled and her eyes are tired but at the same time full of so much happiness. She’s looking down at their child. Their baby. The baby is so small, wrapped up in a little blanket against Yennefer’s chest. She looks to Triss who is crying and realises Sabrina has moved to wrap her arms around the woman. “Well Tissaia are you coming to greet me and your child or not?” Yennefer looks up at her and smiles softly. Understanding she must be overwhelmed.

Tissaia walks to Yennefer before moving to sit on the space Yennefer has left her on the bed. She looks down at the baby and almost dies of fright when Yennefer offers the child to her, her wife laughs at her face but persists. Tissaia takers their baby into her arms and watches as she lets out a little yawn. Tissaia feels tears fill her eyes as the baby looks up at her. “Hello little one, its lovely to meet you, I’ve been waiting to see you for so long that this hardly seems real, I’m your mother, your other mother, Tissaia, no doubt we have a long road ahead of us as your other mother Yennefer says I can be quite difficult.” She hears Yennefer laugh next to her. “But I’m going to try my best, I’m going to be the best version of mysef for you and for your mother, I will never let you down, I will love you always and unconditionally, just like I love your mother and I will always protect you little one, always.”

She notices that Yennefer is crying and leans into her, pressing a kiss against the woman’s forehead as she holds their daughter in her arms. She tells her how well she has done and how proud of her she is. She tells her how much she loves her. She watches Yennefer sniffle and wipe her eyes before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Tissaia’s lips. “Before we leave you in peace, what will you name her?” Triss asks, cuddling into Sabrina.

“Well.” Yennefer smiles at her friend. “We would like you to meet Morgana Sabrina Vengerberg-De Vries.” Tissaia can’t help but laugh as Sabrina’s eyes grow wide. “Of course, we’ll work your name in on the next one Triss.” Tissaia stops laughing and stares at Yennefer who is biting her lip trying not to laugh at the expression on her wife’s face. Tissaia looks down at Morgana.

“We’ll be lucky if I make this out alive, I believe.” The child yawns once more and falls asleep as Tissaia smiles down at her.

Morgana Sabrina Vengerberg-De Vries. Yes. They don’t quite well, Tissaia thinks. Quite well.


End file.
